Friends are great … but not enough.

When young adults struggle, they are most likely, statistically speaking, to turn to their friends. That’s not surprising, and young adults need to have a good community of people their age.

But when peers are the only source of support or advice, it can create a bit of an echo chamber. In this pivotal part of development, older adults need to be in a young adult’s life to offer (solicited) advice, provide encouragement, and model what it looks like to be a well-rounded adult.

Scripture is full of examples of intergenerational relationships. Elijah and Elisha, Naomi and Ruth, and Paul and Timothy are just a few. In fact, intergenerational community has been the default throughout human history and across cultures.

Only recently in history did we start siloing everyone based on age groups in school, in the workplace … and at church. Each age group — the Youth Group, the Seniors, the Young Families — often meets independently for all the substantive relational experiences. And while there’s a lot of pros to that, there’s also a lot of cons.

So how can we encourage intergenerational relationships for our young adults?

1) Encourage mentorship.

Congregations provide a rich opportunity for young adults to meet and befriend older adults. Remind young adults of the importance of reaching out to older generations, and encourage older adults to do the same.

When I was working as a college chaplain, students would often tell me that they wanted more older mentors in their life, but they felt like an imposition. Older adults, like faculty and staff, would tell me that they would love to invest more in college students, but they couldn’t imagine that young people wanted to spend time with them. I encouraged everyone to bravely take initiative, because we’re all better for it!

2) Provide spaces for socializing.

If different generations are gathered together only on Sunday mornings, then that community is less relationally intergenerational and more spatially multigenerational. In other words, just because a young adult is standing next to an older adult doesn’t mean they really know each other.

I attended a women’s retreat once as a college student. For one of the activities, women were randomly assigned in pairs. At first I was nervous to be paired with a woman 40 years my senior. What could we possibly have to talk about? The next 30 minutes of conversation flew by, and we walked away feeling like we had found a kindred spirit. We are still in touch to this day!

3) Integrate adults into family life.

If we are able to see our faith communities as the family of God, we can invite older adults into the lives of our families and our children for support and encouragement. This can then easily continue into young adulthood when young adults are used to and supported in their desire to connect intergenerationally.

I recently attended the baptism of a young adult on a college campus. It was so encouraging to see the adults around her, cheering her on. Pastors, friends, family members, but also other adults from the congregation and from the campus who have influenced her faith life. In that moment, it felt like seeing the family of God on full display.

Let’s encourage young adults together!