When it feels like your faith peaked in Youth Group
As parents process their teens’ experiences with faith and youth group with us, we tend to hear similar reflections over and over again:
“I just didn’t think my kid would struggle with his faith in college. He was a leader in the youth group!”
“I dropped my teen off at youth group every Wednesday, and she loved it. I don’t understand why she seems so uninterested in church now.”
“Youth group made sense to my kid. But he just doesn’t seem to be clicking with a college ministry. What do we do?”
Youth group can sometimes give a false sense of security when it comes to faith.
When a teen is enthusiastic and highly involved in Youth Group, it often takes both them and their parents off guard when they inevitably end up in periods of doubt and deconstruction. And if they walk away from faith all together, it can throw a wrench in their sense of identity — and in their relationship with their family members and church friends.
It may seem outside the realm of possibility, and yet, it is the story of many of the students we meet in college ministry.
The transition from youth group to college or young adult ministry can be a little more complicated than parents and pastors think. Churches pour time, resources, and energy into creating vibrant youth groups and programming for their teens’ four years in high school, but once they graduate, there are often flimsy plans for how to sustain their students’ faith commitments.
When I ask college students about this, they usually acknowledge and wrestle with that very phenomenon. They felt plugged into their youth group, but it takes a long time to adjust to college ministry. Sometimes, college ministry feels too much like a continuation of their high school youth group, and students feel like they’ve plateaued. Other times, college ministry doesn't feel as fun or enthusiastic as their youth group experiences, and students feel bored.
Then moments of questioning and doubt set in, and the ground gets really shaky. So, what can help with this transition?
Relationship over programming. Youth group programs and events are super important for fostering community, but when they come at the expense of relationship building and pastoral care, they miss the point. College students look back at their youth group experiences and cite mentorship, genuine care, and relationships as major elements that led them toward a healthy faith in college.
Listening over answers. Youth groups (especially for seniors in high school) are an ideal place to teach teens how to prioritize asking good questions — without necessarily finding an easy answer. The goal is to help teens feel seen and heard in their questions about life and faith so that when they get to college, they aren’t overwhelmed, and moments of doubt don’t feel so insurmountable.
Parent involvement. As amazing as your youth group is, there is no substitute for parental involvement and family discipleship. Parents should be encouraged and empowered to engage their teens in healthy conversations about life and faith in their youth group years, so that by the time college rolls around, it feels natural to have those open and honest discussions together.
Youth pastors, you’re amazing. You deserve all of the accolades for the time, energy, and care you put into your work with our teens!
The transition from youth group to college doesn’t have to be rocky. It can be a beautiful, intentional time of growth supported by youth pastors, college pastors, and parents. It takes some extra intentionality and collaboration to form a culture in our churches that values young adult formation as a continuation of the fruit of youth ministry.