“Did you go to church this week?” Many parents ask their students this, earnestly trying to get a glimpse into their young adult’s faith. It’s a litmus test, of sorts, to determine whether their kid is still spiritually growing while they are away at school.
But is it a good measure of spiritual health? Probably not.
Why?
Because trends in church attendance among young adults point to a much more complicated reality when it comes to their relationship to institutions, their longing for community, and their spiritual growth.
I had a student who told me his mom called him every Sunday and started the conversation with that same question: “Did you go to church today?” He dreaded it. Partially because his answer was “no” about half the time. And partially because it introduced a feeling of conditionality and transaction to his relationship with his mom.
When I asked him why church attendance was difficult for him, he ticked off several reasons off the top of his head:
1) I go to chapel three times a week and sometimes church on Sunday feels like a lot.
2) I have a jam packed schedule during the week, and I catch up on homework on weekends.
3) It starts at 10 a.m. … I usually don’t wake up until after it’s started! (Sleeping in really can be a need in this stage of their lives!)
Notice how none of those reasons had anything to do with his beliefs, his commitment to his faith, or his desire for community. They were logistical, stage-of-life specific, and temporary.
Do we think church attendance is important? Absolutely!
It is a time when young adults get to establish intergenerational relationships, experience faith off campus, and engage in communal spiritual practices and worship. We encourage all of the young adults in our lives to commit to attending a community of faith regularly.
AND we do not see it as the ultimate measure of spiritual growth.
So, if your young adult isn’t attending regularly or at all, we encourage you to take a deep breath and not to worry too much. Invite them into deeper conversation about their relationship with God, outside of church attendance, and have patience.